Julia Rosecrans' DP
The Insiders Project
October 2015
For this humanities project, we wrote personal essays where we explored the idea of identity. We were challenged to push ourselves to write the essay about something meaningful to us that would also have an impact on the rest of society. We also had to take a picture that captures the piece of our identity that we wrote about.
Here is a picture of the final product with the photograph and final essay together and mounted on black poster board.
This project had a lot of signifigance to me because I was able to write about something I am truly passionate about. I wrote about the hardships and community that come with being asexual and what that means for me. My goal when writing this was to ultimately bring more awareness to this lesser known sexual orientation. I am very proud of the work I created not only for the message I was able to share, but for the proficient writing I presented in this piece.
My Final Piece
I am Asexual.
Julia Rosecrans
It has taken me an entire year of research and uncertainty to finally be able to stand tall and confidently say “I am asexual.” “Asexual” is a daunting word; its implications and misconceptions in this society make it out to be much more frightening and alien than it actually is, something I have been painfully aware of the past few years. This journey has been a year long struggle that has been hard at times, but in the end, it has been enlightening to really feel certain about an aspect of who I am.
Up until my sophomore year, I had little reason to believe I was anything but straight. Growing up, I was only aware of the two options offered to me, gay or straight, and quite frankly the thought of being gay terrified me. I didn’t want to be different, or weird, or teased, so any straying thoughts were quickly abolished. A little later down the line, I had a predicament; I started having feelings for a girl. Fully accepting this was only the first step, and I realized I had to rethink my entire sexuality. I was constantly thinking about how this would make me a lesbian and the thought of getting stuck in this label was quite distressing. This concern, along with my growing knowledge of different sexualities, led me to the realization that I don’t have to be stuck; there were other options. I started considering bisexuality when I had thought about being with people of either gender, however, I found they felt equally disconcerting for me. As I look back on it now, I realize this should have been a clear sign that I wasn’t bisexual, but this was prior to my knowledge that asexuality even existed. This brings me to when I considered the possibility of being asexual.
AsexualityArchive.org was a vital part to realizing my sexuality and making me feel part of a larger community. One of the things I learned from this website is the catch-all definition of asexuality, which is simply: “One who is not sexually attracted to any gender.” I soon found this definition barely scratches the surface of what it means to be asexual. One of the common misconceptions about asexuality is that we are loners who don’t have any personal connections or emotions, but that is far from the truth. It differs from person to person, ranging from sex-repulsed, indifferent, or interested solely as an outsider and not a participant. For me personally, it means that I am very indifferent to this topic that quickly seems to be dominating the minds of my peers and almost every aspect of the media. This new knowledge however was not the only thing I found on this website; I found community.
Being a part of this community is equally rewarding as it is a struggle. I was able to find that there were other people out there who could relate to the very things I thought made me broken. Reading about other people like me was really beneficial to my confidence and enabled me to take pride in my own identity. One of the symbols that links us is the “Ace ring,” which is a black ring worn on your right hand ring finger to represent your asexuality. The main purpose of this ring is to show your pride in being asexual but it also can bring people together; if I saw someone on the street wearing an ace ring I would want to go up and talk to them because I know the struggles they have to face on a daily basis. Being openly asexual can be tough; it’s so easy for friends and family to invalidate how I feel without knowing it. Having friends express their disappointment in my newfound sexuality hurts, but the small amount of disapproval is miniscule compared to the hate many asexuals get. Despite the occasional hurtful comment, I’m lucky enough to be able to say I feel accepted.
In conclusion, discovering my asexuality was a long and confusing process, but when I finally got to the point where I could feel confident in who I am, it was so worth it. I have come to realize that asexuality is an important part of my identity, but I know that it doesn’t define me. I believe that in enough time, every asexual person will be able to be out without any problems, where it is finally understood that asexuality is normal.